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Sat Aug 28 16:20:46 2004

Excess testosterone

My garden hose and spigot lie over an area covered by bricks. Weeds always grow up through these bricks, to my chagrin. Today I decided to concrete over those bricks, forming a nice 3x3 slab where the hose-real can live in peace from the weeds.

I bought 4 80lbs bags of concrete and chucked them into my truck. At home I heaved them out again, and poured two into my wheelbarrow, and began mixing in the water. I stabbed and turned the mix, getting it nice and wet. I myself got rather wet in the process as it’s a hot day, and sweat began rolling down my head and face. I took off my shirt and wiped away some sweat and worked the mixture some more. I could feel the burn in my abs. Sweat rolled down my chest to be caught by my sagging shorts. Of course my shorts never sag in the back because I have enough butt-definition to keep them up there, but they were sagging in the front, revealing a little more of my happy trail than usual. I heaved shovelfuls of concrete into the box that I made for the slab, until my wheelbarrow was empty. Then I went back for round two, and repeated the process. (I could only fit two bags in the wheelbarrow at once and I had four). When the box was full, I patted it down and smoothed it out, giving it a nice finish. After about an hour, I was satisfied that I had laid a nice slab of concrete. I cleaned up my tools, and went inside.

Time for a nice cold shower!

Wed Aug 25 20:33:26 2004

I was just thinking how lucky I am.

I live on 2 acres, along with 4 chicks and 2 bitches. I also have a cock that wakes up everyone in the neighborhood at 5 am.

What more could a guy want?

(Can the obvious sheep jokes!)

Sun Aug 22 18:57:14 2004

Alice Cooper is my Hero! Quoting -

"If you're listening to a rock star in order to get your information on who to vote for, you're a bigger moron than they are. Why are we rock stars? Because we're morons. We sleep all day, we play music at night and very rarely do we sit around reading the Washington Journal."

Somehow I knew my mom was doing me right by taking me to one of his concerts when I was 13.

(Hat tip to Beth)

Sun Aug 22 18:33:55 2004

Well, it seems Da Goddess has me under her control. I can't remember the last time I purchased a new CD. Should I desire music in an archaic format such as physical media, I typically get my fix at the local record exchange. However, her shameless advertising and curiosity got the better of me. That and the fact that I'm on dial-up now and the demo tracks were coming in at a snail's pace. So, I ran out to my local Best Buy and purchased Joe Bonamassa's latest CD. Two words: It rocks!

When I arrived home, the demo track was 34% complete. Nice.

Tue Aug 10 20:35:57 2004

I just got done watching Disney's Pinocchio with my son. This is NOT a good movie to watch just 2 weeks before sending him off to a new school. The movie is all about the dangers of naiveté and the evils that lurk in our world. So, in preparation I've composed a short list of things to go over before I send him off to the second grade.

1. You have to ride the bus, now. Don't worry; I’ll be the car following behind.
2. I'll casually drive by after you get dropped off and pretend I don't know you so the other kids won't make fun of you.
3. If a girl throws something at you, or hits you, that mean she likes you. Run away! They have cooties.
4. If a shy girl keeps looking at you, avoid her, too. She's a psycho.
5. If a girl that plays like a boy wants to play with you, don't fall for it. Tomboys have cooties, too.
6. If a girl chases you when you run away, find the oldest, most bitter adult and tell her you're being harassed.
7. Always wear a condom. I'll pack them in your lunch. Try not to confuse them with the gummi-worms.
8. Avoid the kids that obsess over sports. Schoolwork is more important.
9. Avoid the kids that obsess over schoolwork. You dont want kids to think you're a bookworm.
10. Avoid the kids that obsess over weapons. They're psycho.
11. Avoid the hippie kids; they're trying to take away your second amendment rights.
12. You are there to learn, not socialize. Focus on your schoolwork.
13. Well, actually you should socialize some. You don't want to turn out a loner like me.
14. Make sure you socialize with NORMAL kids. But don't ask me what that is, I don't know.
15. Bonus points for socializing with kids that have hot single moms.
16. More bonus points if you can score play-dates for me, er, I mean you.
17. School is not a fashion show. You don't need trendy clothes to learn.
18. If the other kids make fun of what you wear, you'll have to tell me what's in style, because I sure as hell don't know.
19. Always stand up to bullies. Even if you loose, you'll come out ahead.

Well, that's about it for now. I'm sure I'll stay awake tonight thinking of more things to cover. Gawd, I'm glad I didn't have a girl, I'd be a wreck!

Fri Aug 6 21:35:39 2004

(Arsenic: the fluoride of the left.) - James Lileks

Brilliant!

Fri Aug 6 20:55:46 2004

That cheap port wine I found in the garage attic? Nastiest stuff you would put your lips too. However it reminded me of something. My memory floats back to Germany, I forget if it was the Transvision Vamp concert or the Jethro Tull concert, but it was cold outside. At the gates, where the people lined up, instead of hot dogs and such (like in the states), there were vendors selling wine. They had huge kettles of wine, warmed over a burner, sprinkled with mulling spices. They would ladle it into a cup for you for a few marks, and wow, did it make you feel warm and seasonal.

This port wine that I found brought those memories to me. I dumped about a litre into a pan, threw in a couple of cinnamon sticks, and a few cloves (no orange peel on hand, sorry) and warmed it up. Sipping it in a coffee cup, I was transported back to Germany. A flood of memories came back.

Take something awful but do not shun it. In all things there is good. If not empirically, subjectively.

Fri Aug 6 18:17:45 2004

The 'Michelle' chapter of my life has come to an end. I described the ex-wife chapter as a "Comedy of Errors", I think I can call this one a "Storybook Romance." Only instead of the last sentence being "...and they lived happily ever after" it should read "...and then reality set in."

I once compared a relationship to car maintenance (I don't recall if I blogged it or not, though), which is to say that it needs to be cared for or it will fall into disrepair. I have a new analogy – the relationship is a plant, and romances are the flowers. They bloom, and then they die. Many bloom once, and bloom no more. Others can bloom time and time again. However, there needs to be something keeping the plant alive during the time that it has no flowers. For me, that thing is friendship. Despite the fact that Michelle and I had a great time together, I don't think we really ever got to know each other. When we got to the end of the story where we were supposed to live happily ever after, I think we both felt very empty handed. Those storybooks never do tell just how they managed this mythical "happily ever after..."

In the end, I thought it could be salvaged, but I don't think she did. But it's probably for the better because I tend to be overly optimistic about such things. Que cera cera.

Thu Aug 5 15:02:24 2004

I've joined the sysadmin's rat race. Previously, I was enjoying a nice, trouble free, but not entirely functional webserver. It was read-only, not a chance of server-side shenanigans, and therefore mostly unattackable. After upgrading everything on my JohnCompanies FreeBSD server, I feel somewhat ok with letting Apache run the site. Only now I'll have to jump just like all the other sysadmins when someone whispers 'sploit!' On the flipside, I (and my customers) can write some webscripts now.